Just Smile and Nod

The Philosophy Society, then. It's something I feel slightly guilty being a member of, what with not being an Arts student and all, and whenever I tell anyone there I do, in fact, do Biology, they stare at me as though I'd just revealed I was actualy made out of polystyrene, and was the next big thing in Japan. But I don't care, because it's really great. Tonight was a lecture on Pascal's Wager, a topic which for an atheist basicly translates as "Your beliefs are rubbish and here's why". I did learn an awful lot- It's much more subtle than it first appears, although like a lot of theological arguments there's something ever so slightly silly about it, with its mathmatical reasons for why religion is a good thing (I'm paraphrasing a lot here, you'll understand. You'll need to look up a real website to find out about it properly). I also became ever so slightly jealous of Arts Students, as the lecturer started to do things like write "DALEKS" in large capital letters to illustrate free will and crack Woody Allen jokes to illustrate something which I can't remember anymore, but Was Profound.

So anyway, I was sitting there after the lecture thinking profound thoughts and wondering if the entire lecture theatre really was held up by what appeared to be two thin sheets of iron, which knowing Edinburgh University it probably was, when a smiling old man slid along the lower row of seats to talk to me. "Great!", I thought, "A smiling old man!"

"Good lecture, good lecture", said the smiling old man.

I smiled back and nodded.

"I thought there wasn't enough on psychadelia, of course."

My smile froze.

"Now, that Bloke up there's talking about his Wager and all that, and it's all well and good, but-hack, cough-he doesn't really know what he's talking about. Hell isn't a place of eternal punishment, it's just a place people go to respiritulize, a bit like a prison."

My smile unfroze.

"I've seen it many times, you see."

"Just keep nodding, you ponce", muttered my brain as the frost sparkled over my face.

"Oh, yes, and Heaven too. Now, Hell is-wry chuckle- quite hardcore, man, and it's not the sort of place you'd want too spend much of your time in. That Professor doesn't know what he's talking about! You've heard of the experiments in the sixties? With acid?"

"Oh, Dear God", thought my brain, as I tried to nod, smile, and search desperately for a magical exit from the middle of a lecture theatre all at once. Eighteen years of making cut out snowflakes and walking through the woods has left me completely unprepared for this kind of thing. The truth is, of course, that as a semi-smug atheist it absolutely terrifies me when somebody comes along and talks about Hell as a real place you can visit, albiet in a somewhat unconventional way. Factoring in the bit where said person is wild-eyed, coughing, and brandishing a half-empty beer bottle diminishes the sensation, of course, but it's a bit jarring all the same. Not in a conversion-style way, though. Atheism is really great.

Anyway, back at the lecture. The Professor asked for questions. My Old-Man from the Sixties friend's arm shot up.

"Good lecture, good lecture. I thought there wasn't enough on psychadelia, of course..."

As I looked down, and tried not to smile, I realised that my life's finally become interesting here in Edinburgh, even if it is in Old-Man related ways. It's kind of sad, but also not, to realise this was the sort of thing I wanted back in the Summer when I was Blogless and alone- the feeling that something had happened to you that might be strange, and might involve tortured academia, but that you wouldn't take back for the World. And now that happens pretty much every day. I love being a Nerd Student.